Swimming in the Mississippi River

By: George Adelman
Green trees and tall buildings near a river

Seasoned swimmers love to challenge themselves by treading waters in colossal water bodies. Be it the sea or raging rivers; the daring aquaholics love to take the plunge into any water-holding crater. But sometimes the ‘I-am-the-next-Michael-Phelps bravado can prove to be reckless (though Michael Phelps was anything but reckless) and lead to traumatizing water experiences, even drowning. And that is why no swimmer, amateur or professional, should try to test the waters (literally) in natural waterways as they can get aggressive without warning. But unfortunately, some daredevils believe that they can dodge Mother Nature and dunk into wild rivers and deep coves without having any rescuers available on the spot. What they fail to understand is that even the most adroit swimmers cannot body-swerve their way out of a turbulent eddy of water until they, themselves, are stuck somewhere deep under the earth, desperately flailing to come up to the surface.

Considering the unwavering determination of thoughtless adventurists, we decided to discuss one of the most popular (read: dangerous) swimming spots in New Orleans; the Mississippi River.


The Mississippi River: The Big Muddy

The Mississippi River is the second-longest river in the United States of America. It runs through more than 10 American states, namely Minnesota, Iowa, Illinois, Wisconsin, Missouri, Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas, Mississippi, and Louisiana. Considering the Big Muddy’s ranking among all American rivers, it’s safe to say that the Mississippi River is massive. And that alone should be enough of a reason for people to steer clear of diving into the Old Blue. However, that’s not the case! Many misguided bathers end up dunking into the Mississippi River only to never come back up. As tragic as that sounds, it’s a reality that doesn’t mean much to people who decide to jump into the Ol’ Man River.

And as the warm breeze of the summer season begins to float around, swimmers gear up to go diving in the most precarious spots, such as the Mississippi River. If you plan to do that too, then perhaps you should read the following gory details about what lies beneath the apparently blue water of the Mississippi River.


Why You Shouldn’t Swim In The Mississippi River

The seemingly calm waterway is unimaginably deep and carries torrential currents. Moreover, it is like a massive depository of mud, so once you go under the water, you’ll disappear out of the view in no time. And even if someone spotted you for a brief moment, they wouldn’t be able to help you.

If that’s not enough to dissuade you, then let’s talk a bit about the water’s toxicity levels. The Big Muddy is the go-to dump for mega factories that release all of their chemical waste into the Mississippi water. Additionally, the pesticide and fertilizer carrying run-off from farms end up in the Mississippi River, making it outrageously contaminated. To simply put, the Old Blue is now a foul mix of chemicals, mud, and waste products.

If you want to risk your life for such a gross watercourse, then we’d say think again; it’s not worth the hassle.